Moving thousands of miles away from people who have known and loved you for years, can unsurprisingly feel lonely at times. It takes time to build relationships and a familiar routine, and in the gap it’s easy to think about what you’re missing, rather than what seeds are growing.
If I were back at home I’d typically be getting ready to leave for Parkrun on a Saturday morning. Here in the Cayman Islands my routine is more solitary as I usually spend the early hours of the start of the weekend writing, but with the intention of forging connections with you, dear readers. I love to write, and I am grateful for the conversations that sometimes spark up. Thank you for being here!
I woke up ridiculously early today, and mindlessly took to scrolling. One of the posts that popped up shook me out of my sleepy daze, and brought me to the screen to write. It’s a beautiful story, about a connection forged between two people through a wall, reminding me how strangers can come into your life and become friends, in unexpectedly wonderful ways. They shine a light, making life sparkle with magic, even if just for a short while. It made me think of the saying,
We’re here for a good time not a long time.
What makes a life a good time?
We all have different goals in life, and value different things. For those of us who grew up in the U.K. in the 70s and 80s, we had Tom and Barbara, Margot and Jerry modelling alternative lifestyles. I tried to live my adult life in the U.K. more like Barbara than Margot, but without the chickens and alcohol. A life like Tom and Barbara is difficult to achieve in the Cayman Islands; I can’t grow my own food here, there is no weekly recycling collection, and the second hand clothes market is far from thriving (things wear out quickly because of the salt air!). I’m surrounded both by glamour that would impress Margot, and more chickens than you can shake a coconut at!
No matter how well crafted, life brings challenges to us all, and alongside the material wealth there is a lot of evidence of people in poverty, and having to work hard to survive. The island is one of the most expensive places to live in the world, and when a cauliflower costs almost $10 dollars, it’s easy to feel like you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole to a strange Wonderland. Alice doesn’t know that the potion will make her shrink until she drinks it. She doesn’t know the cake will make her grow until she eats it. Living is a series of choices in how we respond to what life offers.
Storm Sara skims the island
We are in the midst of Storm Sara. Her full force is over Central America, and in the Cayman Islands we have been experiencing huge dumps of rain. With floods forming on the roads, and everyone trying to get home, traffic was at a standstill on Friday night. I escaped to happy hour with work colleagues. As the rain stormed outside, my friends tried to persuade me to step way outside my comfort zone.
‘I’ve already pushed my boundaries’, I said, resisting their invitation.
‘There’s plenty more room for stretching!’, they replied.
The chickens clucked around our feet and I glugged down a pink grapefruit juice. If I wanted a simple life, I should never have boarded the plane, it seems.
What choice is there in an alternative reality but to go with it, or get the hell out of there fast? I accepted their challenge (you’ll find out what another time!).
Chasing rainbows in paradise
Many of us spend time chasing goals, making money, finding our purpose, seeking love, and if we’re lucky, meeting people who make the journey more joyful. The magic doesn’t always happen in the places we expect.
Seven Mile Beach- One of the most beautiful beaches in the world!
Last Sunday I spent the afternoon on the beach. The black edges of the plastic blanket burned my feet as I stepped into the middle. There were more people scattered about on towels and beach chairs than I’d seen before. Suddenly a grey shutter was pulled across the sky, and we were closed in by heavy rain clouds. Many people packed up and left, but my friends and I have been hardened off through years of British summer beach training. We pulled in our valuables and cuddled up under the sun umbrella. As the rains fell, and fell, and fell, it dripped and dripped and dripped, whilst we found a game of charades on a phone, and played. The raindrops pummelled the sand around us, and steam from our bodies created a sauna beneath our shelter.
We peered out, braving the drops, laughing as we got wetter and wetter. In the end we accepted defeat and full exposure to the elements, joining the human half of the beach goers in the sea. The chickens retreated to the trees whilst we waited out the storm in the water. Feeling cold for the first time we swam to find the curiously warm patches, and distracted ourselves with chatter. After the shutter was slowly pulled away, we stumbled back onto the beach, pulled on damp clothes, and trod our sandy feet to our rental cars, navigating ourselves to the warm showers of home.
We have a video that captures this afternoon- in it all of us are smiling, in spite of the weather. It wasn’t the sunniest of days, and certainly not the most beautiful to look at, but it was one of the funniest. These unplanned moments of connection are exactly what we need to get us through the rainy days of life.
And the best bit? Whilst we were packing up our things, I spotted a rainbow arching over the Governor’s house. The pot of gold’s inside, I laughed.
After the rain…
Mindful moments
I’m currently running a group for adults with learning disabilities which teaches skills to manage big feelings. People with intellectual disabilities have the double challenge of finding the world more difficult to navigate than the average person, and often experiencing more unkindness than the average person too. It is not surprising that they can struggle to regulate their emotions and access their wisest minds and actions.
I’m following a DBT informed programme (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) specifically for adults with intellectual disabilities. DBT develops skills in emotional regulation and techniques in distress tolerance, and combines them with acceptance and mindfulness derived from meditation practice (See this link for explanation). The manual gives the analogy of our minds being like excitable puppies which we need to learn to train. In this week’s session everyone was invited to choose a daily action that they could use as a mindfulness practice, such as hand washing, eating, or drinking. I committed to a practice too.
Longstanding readers will be unsurprised to hear that I chose swimming- the pool is the place that I most easily find myself being in the moment.
As the raindrops were falling on my head yesterday, my puppy mind started singing the tune penned by Burt F. Bacharach, Hal David, struggling to retrieve all the words. Then, I looked up at the grey sky and saw a part rainbow. Rainbows never fail to make me smile.
I have never seen so many rainbows in such a short amount of time. Hurricane season is known for the rain, humidity and tropical storms, but how often do the travel brochures rave about the rainbows?!
I thought to myself, ‘I wonder if anyone else can see this right now’, both wishing to share the joy, and delighting in savouring it for myself.
Life is life, and whatever the backdrop, a good life, as far as I’m concerned, is all about looking out for the rainbows in the rain!
And the beautiful video that started this pondering? Here- I hope it brings the brightness of rainbows to your day, and initiates your own magical connections.
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I remember being mesmerised by the sky and the rainbows when I first arrived in New Zealand. I love the power of a new environment to wake us up and help us pay attention to our surroundings. A good life is surely one in which we're awake and present to all that happens 😃🌈❤️
I am always looking forward to your posts. I used to live abroad and when I read your words, it's as if I am getting a sense of adventure again. But it's not just the glimpse into your life on the Cayman Islands, but also your beautiful reflections that draw me in.