Jo, so sorry for your loss. I am sending you love. Thank you for this essay - today would have been my brother's birthday, so it felt somehow like no coincidence that your words landed in my inbox on this day. The chosen poems also very much resonated with me. I am no stranger to loss and grief - loosing people, but also grieving aspects of my health, for example, having been diagnosed with a chronic illness. As you also touched on, I feel that maybe community care could be so helpful in these times. But unfortunately, from my experience, even friends and family often don't know how to cope with another person's grief - society mostly wants us to move through it and be done with it. To function properly, to move on. I also think that grief nearly changes forms - even years after my brother's death, it is still there - it has changed, it has gotten quieter, but it feels like a part of me. And that's okay - it has also made me open to more joy, to paying attention, to wanting to not just live, but be alive. And in some moments, there doesn't seem to be a bright side too it - finding acceptance in that too. A wonderful, thoughtful essay from many perspectives - thank you again, I really appreciated it.
Interesting that you mention Lois Tonkin. I met her some years ago and she interviewed me here in my living room for her book 'Motherhood Missed'. She died shortly after the book was published. She was a wonderfully gentle compassionate soul.
Like you, I've never liked the concept of 'closure' it's too neat and contained and not at all my experience of how grief lives in my being. A western fantasy that we can just pack it away and close a door, never to look back.
Sorry to hear you are facing recent loss Jo, sending love your way and thanks for sharing your thoughts and reflections 🤎
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your essay resonates significantly with me, as someone who experienced the grief of five losses to death in just over a year, as well as the loss of my own physical health, career and many hobbies. I really appreciated the Craig Newnes quote. I'll have to see if Craig wrote that down anywhere to reference!
I'm sorry to hear about your losses. Losing loved ones as well as the anchors of health, career and hobbies is especially challenging. It has taken me some time to trust my body again after illness, and keep recalibrating my expectations of myself.
Sending love and thanks for sharing.
Ooh, and I'd love you to have a look for a reference for Craig's thoughts. I tried and was unsuccessful- do let me know!
Jo, so sorry for your loss. I am sending you love. Thank you for this essay - today would have been my brother's birthday, so it felt somehow like no coincidence that your words landed in my inbox on this day. The chosen poems also very much resonated with me. I am no stranger to loss and grief - loosing people, but also grieving aspects of my health, for example, having been diagnosed with a chronic illness. As you also touched on, I feel that maybe community care could be so helpful in these times. But unfortunately, from my experience, even friends and family often don't know how to cope with another person's grief - society mostly wants us to move through it and be done with it. To function properly, to move on. I also think that grief nearly changes forms - even years after my brother's death, it is still there - it has changed, it has gotten quieter, but it feels like a part of me. And that's okay - it has also made me open to more joy, to paying attention, to wanting to not just live, but be alive. And in some moments, there doesn't seem to be a bright side too it - finding acceptance in that too. A wonderful, thoughtful essay from many perspectives - thank you again, I really appreciated it.
Interesting that you mention Lois Tonkin. I met her some years ago and she interviewed me here in my living room for her book 'Motherhood Missed'. She died shortly after the book was published. She was a wonderfully gentle compassionate soul.
Like you, I've never liked the concept of 'closure' it's too neat and contained and not at all my experience of how grief lives in my being. A western fantasy that we can just pack it away and close a door, never to look back.
Sorry to hear you are facing recent loss Jo, sending love your way and thanks for sharing your thoughts and reflections 🤎
Christine, thank you for your words.
I’m finding it hard to find a suitable response, and responding with a hug seems overly familiar. Yet, they sometimes convey exactly the right thing!
Grief is terrifying for us all, and those who are brave enough to stand at its edges whilst we are in it, are precious friends indeed.
Thank you so much for sharing your response. Words are amazing!
Sending love to you too
That’s really interesting- I’ll have to remember to look that book up.
Thank you, received with gratitude x
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your essay resonates significantly with me, as someone who experienced the grief of five losses to death in just over a year, as well as the loss of my own physical health, career and many hobbies. I really appreciated the Craig Newnes quote. I'll have to see if Craig wrote that down anywhere to reference!
Thank you Malumir.
I'm sorry to hear about your losses. Losing loved ones as well as the anchors of health, career and hobbies is especially challenging. It has taken me some time to trust my body again after illness, and keep recalibrating my expectations of myself.
Sending love and thanks for sharing.
Ooh, and I'd love you to have a look for a reference for Craig's thoughts. I tried and was unsuccessful- do let me know!